I'm A Creep (for Prince). UPDATE

UPDATE: The Purple Cops at YouTube have taken down the video that I initially had up of Prince's performance of Radiohead's "Creep" from Coachella. Fortunately I downloaded a copy for personal use. Until then, please settle for this review of the show by the Associated Press that made me wish I was still in California blowing insane amounts of money for a chance a Prince-phoria. (It's all high. No come down.) I hope the Purple Cops showed up because they want to sell a DVD of this performance that I am so FREAKIN' SAD about missing.

Prince, if you really love me. You'll put your performance of Radiohead's "Creep" at Coachella April 27th onto a CD/DVD/Dear God, ANYTHING so I can plunk down whatever you see fit to charge so I can own it.

I don't know how you fellow Snobs feel about Prince, but I, quite famously, went to every performance he gave in California four years ago during his Musicology Tour.

Mind you. I went into debt because I always bought two tickets as I was obsessed with turning people on to Prince. But I can't help it. I'm a Prince fan. It's both a blessing and a curse.

I usual don't demonstrate my insane degree of Prince-phillia as unlike my TJ fetish it DOES border on creepy, but it's a happy, Black Snob brand of creepy! Not put your pet rabbit in a microwave creepy.

Hence why I need this Radiohead cover in my life. To paraphrase the 90s grunge-era lyrics of the British band, I am a creep (for Prince.) I am a weirdo (for Prince.) I wish I was special (like Prince.) He's so fucking special.

I just don't care if anyone thinks he's weird. Your loss, man! More Prince for me!

Prince is my drug of choice (next to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, B-boys and Grey's Anatomy) and for a brief experience while watching and listening to this grainy Coachella video I caught a contact high that turned to a brief dash of euphoria, the same kind I had at all of those concerts.

If I could grind Prince up I would have snorted him away years ago and I'd be in Prince-rehab Prince-jonesing for some Prince-brand methadone.

What would Prince Methadone be? Lenny Kravitz (who I also like), Terence Trent D'Arby (Who I like more than Kravitz but not as much as Prince) or Michael Jackson?

And would that be 80s Michael Jackson methadone? Because I don't want anything post the Dangerous Album.

I'm going to keep it real here--I would stalk Prince in real life if hundreds of other Purple fanatics hadn't beat me to the punch. And I feel so ripped off being born in '77 instead of '64 because then I would have been old enough to stalk a much more accessible Prince during the bulk of his late 70s-80s hey day. Sharing eyeliner and wearing matching outfits. I would have been that girl in lace, fingers-out gloves and fishnets as Vanity never would have had the privilege of being fucked up by His Royal Badness because I would have been, "No, bitch. ME FIRST."

And I can actually fucking sing. Unlike Vanity. Appolonia. Martika. Carmen Elecrtra. Countless other bitches who Prince was screwing who couldn't sing.

Sigh. We'll always have Fresno, Mr. Nelson.